There are plenty of new moms in my family.  They are all are excited about the babies, most of them are new moms and one has multiple children.  One’s life changes as soon as the baby is home.   I would think the hardest thing about being a new mom is getting enough sleep, which can negatively impact other activities.  I decided to come up with a list of things that I believe a new mom needs to help her adjust to her new bundle of joy.

So every new mom needs:

1. Chef – A new mom is tired, which means she does not need to be operating anything with fire or heat.   Having a chef may be a luxury, BUT family members and friends should make sure the new family is eating sensible meals everyday (well, at least, the first 4 weeks after delivery.)

2. Housekeeper – A healing mother should not be vacuuming or doing dishes the first month after delivery.

3. Babysitter – Now, some moms do not like to leave their child(ren) with other people.  (I suggest that they read Find The Time.)  First time moms should begin scouting out prospective babysitters while pregnant.  (This is important if new mom live in a place where she has little to no family members.)  New parents will need to find someone they respect and trust to take care of their child(ren).  I also suggest not burning bridges with people who would be great sitters.  Start with leaving the child with the sitter for a couple of hours and phase in more hours as he or she gets older.  For example, if the anniversary weekend is coming up and want to leave the child with grandma (do not let that be the first time he or she is away from for a long period of time.)

4. Date Night -  Date night is very important to rekindle the sparks in your relationship.  (Main reason why #3 is very important.)   I know people who do not spend much time without their child(ren).  That is a bad sign in a relationship.  Will the relationship last when the child(ren) leave to go to school?  Preservation of the relationship should be on-going and deliberate.

5. Pampering – (No connection to Pampers Diapers) A new mom must be reminded that it is ok for her to pamper herself or to be pampered.  Take her to her favorite cosmetic counter or to a spa.  She is stressed out (but may not want to say), so nudge her (kindly and gently) to take some time for herself.  A happy mom means a happy baby and, ultimately, a happy household.

So check on your new moms TODAY!!!!

Mix Maven

Hey Pumps and Gloss-ers,

Wedding season is approaching very quickly. Many brides are finalizing reception, floral arrangements, and other related wedding activities.

I have discussed many aspects of wedding attire and accessories, but not the actual wedding/reception party planning.

We all know that weddings/receptions can be expensive. If possible, your best bet is to begin the planning process early. Please bare in mind that the actual wedding is not as costly as the reception. You can probably get away with faux flowers and tulle on the pews and a few flowers, columns, and so forth on the rostrum.

The reception is probably 60-80% of the budget, assuming that all of the bridal party will be paying out of their own pockets, which is pretty much standard, unless you are aware of financial hardship with a couple of bridal participants. Here is Mix Maven’s rule of thumb, “If you cannot afford the reception, you need to keep the wedding invites to a minimum.” Opt for a destination ceremony that will limit who can come to the wedding, which, ultimately, means less money flowing out of your pocket.

I must stress that you cannot have a caviar and saltfish reception. You must either keep the reception elegant or decide on a casual event. Do not mix the two. A friend of mine was telling me about a wedding that the friend was planning with the bride. The bride asked the friend to help because she likes my friend’s taste, which is quite impeccable. The friend told me how the bride wanted to use plastic or paper plates for dining *gasp* as well as setting up a lobby for the reception. *double gasp*!!! To add insult to injury, the bride and groom wanted to serve a specific ethnic menu to all guests, but the menu would cater to 25% of guests. Why? Because the menu was the cheapest. Now, the best solution would be to cater to both sets, negotiating rates that will be conducive to their budget. (Sidebar: if you have a significant amount of guests that are vegetarian, do not relegate them to eating cheese and pasta. Make sure that substantive food i.e. protein is provided for them.)

I am not saying that you should not find bargains, but be careful of where you decide to cut costs. I am a bargain shopper, but I know that you get what you pay for. Do not cut costs on food. If you cannot afford to feed people good food, DO NOT have a reception. I heard about a bride wanting to have a potluck for her wedding reception, thankfully, a relative stepped in and helped to make sure the event was catered.

Do not treat guests with disdain by providing them substandard fare, yet still wanting gifts from them . Elegance does not have to be butchered, if your budget is not the amount you want it to be, be open to creative affordable options that will still add the touch of elegance you desire. You, your spouse, family and guests are definitely worth it! Always REMEMBER, Your wedding day is a reflection of you and your new spouse, so make sure the look you want is cohesive and charming.

Keep It Classy,

Mix Maven

Layers has been a recurring concept over the past few months: in Photoshop, applying blush, layer cake, and one of my favorite bloggers did a humorous piece on the layering phenomenon in fashion. Then there is my favorite layer-er of all, the Queen of Blending, a super talented make-up artist from Southern California. She uses several different eye shadow shades to create an uber-chic blended look. The naked eye may not be able to detect the layers, but they are there. Because of Q of B, I had to purchase Blue Brown pigment from MAC Cosmetics. Below are samples of her work. Her work is totally AWESOME!!

We are all complicated layers. None of us hold one moniker; we are daughters, wives, mothers, friends, lovers, girlfriends, employees, supervisors, church members etc. For example, my friend SB is a son, husband, father, chef, friend, photographer, entrepreneur (S&B seasonings) YUM-OOH!!!

He is also a Regional Men’s Ministry leader (responsible for creating fatherhood initiatives, mentoring programs and even a blog and website) and he still has to time to have a BBQ at his house. He is one of my best friends in the whole world!! ( I will bring the cornbread to the BBQ. Uhm er a make sure to use turkey breast burger patties.. thanks YO!!)

Do not let people define you as one of your layers. You all know I love MAC eye shadows, but I also love politics. (I am too excited about the marathon debate on C-Span) [Mr. Maven, please bring home some popcorn. ] I am also a student, wife, daughter among other layers.

Discover all your layers today

So Much Better from the “Legally Blonde” musical.

Mix Maven