Dueling Libidos

To stay on track with Kool Kitty’s blog about communication, I recently read Heart and Soul’s February/March 2007 issue on “When your sex drives don’t match?”  I was very surprised to learn that according to a recent German survey, a woman’s libido fades four years into a relationship. My first thought was Hell to the Naw. Is this going to happen to me once I get married?  Then I think about some of my friends who are in relationships and they complain when their significant other wants sex more than they are willing to give.  Do all women feel as though they are sex toys and the husband or live in mate thinks sex is like cable on demand?  Remember ladies even though you may not feel in the mood, sometimes its good to keep that inferno glowing.  As I talk with my married friends and get their opinion about intimacy in a marriage, I get the sense sometimes you just don’t want to get busy when you’ve had a busy day and the kids are really testing your patience.  I ask them how to solve the issue.  Most of them give in and service their mate while others just say no.  Do we as women lose our sexiness once we snag that man? Are we keeping up the sexiness that brought that man to us?  We as women must remember we have to keep the sexiness going after the ‘I do’s’.  Because what would we think if the man was to let his sexy body go after a few years of marriage.  We would be thinking “WHAT THE HELL.”        What happens when the man has a low libido and the woman wants to have intimate sessions with her husband?  Women what do you do when you are with a man who doesn’t share the same sex drive you have?  Naturally you may be at your peak while the man is losing ground for sexual desires.  Do you cheat, get mad or demand to leave him for irreconcilable differences? A woman who’s husband was overweight avoided intimacy because he was having trouble getting it up.  The husband just wanted to drink beer and watch television.  He would pretend to be sleep whenever she approached him for sex.  Of course her first thought was to get sex from a different man.  However they shared so much more. It was suggested for them to get counseling, exercise and diet to rekindle that spark.     How can you make your love life better?  What kind of communication does the couple have?  According to the article people need to discuss their sexual appetite. Couples need to make plans to spend time together.  Book that vacation to get that love fest one seeks.  Its something about going away that brings passion out of individuals.  It may be no stress that puts the swing back in the libido.    I do believe that whether you are married or dating, one needs to be very candid about their sex drives.  In addition to remembering the core to a great relationship is REAL COMMUNICATION.  Sensual Element

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