Glossy Monday Variety

1. Talking about each other – You are really not her friend if what you
have to say about her is so bad you can’t say it in front of her. If you
are a real friend you should be able to tell her your concerns for her
life to her face. If you have the need to tell others, but you haven’t
found the time to tell her – red lights should be flashing. Believe it
or not, gossiping is not an intrinsic part of being female. Women who
gossip do it not because it’s a woman-thing, but because they want to
elevate themselves and put other women in a place of inferiority.
Gossiping is just another symptom of deeper insecurities.
 
2. Fighting for men – One of the most undignified things that any woman
can do is to fight, argue, or curse another woman over a man. It’s a
disgusting trend that used to be a school girl thing, but today adult
women are doing it too. If both of you are in conflict – because his
choice is not clear – then that means that he’s really not into any of
you. He’s probably playing both of you. That man really does not deserve
love or attention from either one of you.  Let him go.

3. Joining female gangs – Women who make you feel unwelcome and unwanted within their circle of friends are not to be trusted. Women cliques have
become common in the workplace, at church, in the neighborhood. Cliques
are the dwelling place of insecure women. Women who join cliques are
seeking refuge from their own lack of confidence by cocooning themselves
within this circle of supposed exclusivity. Again, the need to belong
to, or be part of a clique is also a sign of deeper insecurities.
Beware, cliques are usually encouraged and thrive on a type of gang mentality.

4. Undermining each other – Beware of any woman who can never celebrate your accomplishments with you. It could be a new boyfriend, a promotion,
an award, a new job, a new acquisition, weight loss. If she has nothing
positive to say to you about it, does not show emotional support, or
chooses to remain silent she is not a true friend. Real friends know how
to recognize and genuinely rejoice for our successes with pride.

5. Competing against each other – You need to get this straight. There
will always be another woman with nicer hair, a more caring husband or
boyfriend, better behaved children, a better paying job, a bigger house,
a more fashionable wardrobe – there will always be some woman with more
of what you don’t have. Consequently, the only person that you need to
compete against is yourself. Strive to be the best that you can be – for
you. Competing against other women to prove yourself superior is a
financial and emotional drainer. Because of this mindless competition we
become mean, envious and hypocritical. It is pointless.

6. Disrespecting boundaries – To survive peacefully every relationship
and every friendship must have clear boundaries. Good relationships
operate within margins of respect. Within this level of respect, privacy
and intimacy are keywords. Yes, you are my friend, but that doesn’t give
me the right to walk into your bedroom or your kitchen, unbeknownst to
you, and help myself to your stuff. I don’t do this not because you
won’t allow me to, but because I respect your privacy and your things.
Consequently, we both need to know and respect each other’s levels of
privacy and intimacy.
 
7. Crossing boundaries – This is similar to the above; the only
difference is that my respect of your boundaries should never depend on
my friendship with you. We need to respect women for the simple fact
that they are women. If she is a woman she is a sister. Period.
Therefore, from that understanding I will have the utmost respect for
her children, her man, her opinions, her choices, and for her as a
person. It amazes me how women are quick to disrespect another sister’s
boundaries, but feel offended if another woman does to them the same
exact thing. Honestly, that type of inconsistent behavior can only be
credited to some form of mental illness.
 
8. Exploiting our friendships – This is a major one. Why are you
friends? Do you only remember her being around whenever she could get
something from you? It doesn’t even have to be material. It could just
be your time or your positive energy. Does she happen to be always on
the receiving side, with you dishing out ton loads of yourself or your
stuff? Or is she your friend because of what you represent? It could be
that your husband’s position or yours, your possessions, your talent,
whatever, represents some form of achievement. Is she a friend because
that link to you places her on a higher platform? In a real friendship
appreciation, support, and loyalty must be reciprocal.