I was talking with my friends and the question of having sex before marriage came up.  Let me say this:  we were not discussing whether it’s moral or immoral. We were discussing the advantages and disadvantages of sex before marriage. 

The major advantage to having sex before marriage came as no surprise because basically everyone agreed that you know exactly what you are getting and there are no surprises. Nothing more and nothing less and you are able to determine if you and your partner are sexually compatible.  One other advantage to having sex before marriage was relieving stress on a regular basis resulting in better health. 

Now some of the disadvantages for having sex before marriage are

  • Getting STDs (if there are multiple partners)
  • Not being “pure” for your spouse
  • Feeling guilty (I don’t know too many people that feel guilty about having sex before marriage, maybe with the people they decided to have relations with)
  • If people have pre-marital sex with their spouse-to-be, there is a chance of less sex during the marriage because there was nothing to look forward to
  • Sex can get boring with the same person because you already know the moves of your partner

I am not telling anyone what to do with someone, but I do want your thoughts as to what are some advantages and disadvantages to having sex before you get married,  Remember people, I am not making this a moral or immoral issue.  I am just looking for the basics of should you have sex with an individual to know whether you are sexually compatible.

[youtube Do you wait a while? [youtube Or do you make it happen?  Give us your thoughts.

Sensual Element

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  • Karen July 27, 2007 at 4:04 AM

    I think that you need to test drive the car before you buy it!

  • lovetips4all July 16, 2007 at 5:58 PM

    I would say go fot it as sex is really an important aspect in a relationship/marriage. I agree that sex is a learned activity, but upbringing, personality, previous experiences and conditioning also play a role as to whether a partner is willing to or can change towards being more open-minded or sexy. We can encourage, but we cannot change our partner. So if there is serious imcompatibility issue regarding how we view and approach sex, that would make it much harder to foster and maintain a loving relationship.

  • The Jennifer Project July 14, 2007 at 6:37 PM

    I say do it! Sex is an important part of a relationship.If there is no compatibility in the bedroom it will have an effect on other areas of the relationship.

  • owen July 14, 2007 at 1:08 AM

    “If people have pre-marital sex with their spouse-to-be, there is a chance of less sex during the marriage because there was nothing to look forward to”

    happens after the honeymoon so thats not really a disadvantage

  • tanglethis July 13, 2007 at 7:56 PM

    Hi there, just a stranger passing through – since I started writing for a sex advice blog, I’ve started following the “sex” tags on WordPress. : )

    I had to comment because a couple of your “cons” rely on a perception of sex that I think is not quite realistic: that once you’ve had sex with a spouse-to-be, you’ll “know what you’re getting,” and that sex will get boring with your partner once you “know all their moves.” (Jeez, if the latter is true, I don’t know why anyone would get married – who’d want a lifetime of boring sex?)

    The thing about sex is that it’s a learned activity. A person’s sexual needs, desires, and preferences are subject to change through experience and education, so ideally a couple (married or otherwise) could learn together how to make each other feel good and comfortable. A person’s “moves” early on may change completely after a few years or even a few months, and though a person’s physical attributes might say the same, the way they like to be touched may also change. It’s a flexible and fluid process!

    I agree that STDs are a huge worry, though, and it’s extremely important to be informed and up-to-date on how to prevent them. That, too, is a reason I’m working on this blog.

  • Sweet Breeze July 13, 2007 at 6:52 PM

    Well, I would say that even if you do not have sex prior to getting married, you need the see private body parts before you say “yes” to the prosposal.