Archive for September, 2007

Hey P&G,

Sexual Carob here with you again. Sensual Element had to attend an edible underwear conference. She does all this for you!!

A few of my married friends and I had a long discussion about “leaving the kids at the crib.” Leaving kids at the crib means husband and wife spending quality time together without the children. (Hopefully, out of the house). My friends who are single mothers or fathers seem to understand this concept. For example, MM, when given proper notice, will secure a babysitter for her two wonderful daughters. She realizes that she must make time for herself as well as her family.

A few years back, I was watching an episode of Oprah where Ayelet Waldman wrote an essay about loving her husband more than her children. (You can imagine there were some gasps and some claps.) She writes:

But the real reason for this lack of sex, or at least the most profound, is that the wife’s passion has been refocused. Instead of concentrating her ardor on her husband, she concentrates it on her babies. Where once her husband was the center of her passionate universe, there is now a new sun in whose orbit she revolves. Libido, as she once knew it, is gone, and in its place is all-consuming maternal desire. (par. 3)

I am the only woman in Mommy and Me who seems to be, well, getting any. This could fill me with smug well-being. I could sit in the room and gloat over my wonderful marriage. I could think about how our sex life—always vital, even torrid—is more exciting and imaginative now than it was when we first met. I could check my watch to see if I have time to stop at Good Vibrations to see if they have any exciting new toys. I could even gaze pityingly at the other mothers in the group, wishing that they too could experience a love as deep as my own. (par. 5)

I have seen this phenomenon all too many times. Couples who are so consumed by their children that they cannot go anywhere without them. Recently, at my cousin’s wedding, one of his friends, wife and baby drove from the Midwest to the Mid-Atlantic corner of the country. Instead of leaving the child with grandparents, who seem more than capable to look after the child, they had the child in tow. They did not get to enjoy the wedding as they were late and had to rush out of the reception to return home.

Another set, everything was about the child: the feedings were elaborate descriptions of food. “Ooh look carrots, yay carrots, what color are the carrots? Ooooh yummy carrots!!” Now, I am believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way. Oh yes, show them all the beauty they possessive inside. I know the parent did not get a chance to enjoy the festivities. But I figure that children were given to us by God to help them grow and learn. The goal is for them to become positive, contributing members of the society and independent.

One of the couples left their child at the crib. The mother had an epiphany before the journey, “my parents raised me well, they are more than fit to keep my child overnight.” This was definitely a Hallelujah moment because in that moment she realized what God wanted for the family. Mother and father must be connected to each other, the children and community.

Waldman wishes:

some learned sociologist would publish a definitive study of marriages where the parents are desperately, ardently in love, where the parents love each other even more than they love the children. It would be wonderful if it could be established, once and for all, that the children of these marriages are more successful, happier, live longer and have healthier lives than children whose mothers focus their desires and passions on them. (par. 26)

 

I wonder the same thing. A pastor said that priorities of a married couple:

1. God
2. Each other
3. Children
4. Job

He stated that if the parents are in love and keep the love ignited, the children will know and understand love.

Married couples must keep the spark alive. They must have date nights, which can include shopping for sex toys, going to a local hotel (not motel), going to the movies and so forth. These sessions should be about reconnecting and feeling each other up (maybe on the couch)

So let begin the sexual healing… awww yay baby!!

Keeping it Hot and Sweet,

Sexual Carob

A few months back, I wrote a post about layers.

Ok, so I have been thinking about the fear of make-up. Recently, a friend of mine purchased one of MAC’s Mineralized Skinfinish (can be used as a blush). She was very disappointed that the color payoff was not what she expected. She was ready to chuck it in her dresser and be mad. So I recommended that she layer the Mineralized Skinfinish with different color MAC blushes or bronzers. She tried the recommendation with some blushes that she had and she is very pleased with the outcome. Do NOT be afraid of blush that is lighter or darker than what you expect. Be creative and mix with different shades, you will be very pleased with the combos you create.

I also have been noticing a lot of creasing eye shadow out there and I am just NOT pleased!! When you spend money on make-up, you have to make sure that it can be seen. It’s like buying Gucci Pumps with a broken heel FULL PRICE!! (What’s the point of that!?!?!) Ladies, you must wear a eye shadow base. The base allows the shadow to stick to the eye lid region, which helps the eye shadow last a longer time. The base that you will need to use MUST, significantly, minimize oil build up which causes creasing. I recommend:

MAC’s Oil Control Lotion – Apply this on the lid to brow bone and let dry for a few seconds

MAC Prep + Prime Eye Base – can also be effective. This base does not work for me in the summer time, so I combine with one or two other products. Apply to lid to brow bone.

Urban Decay Primer Potion, Eye Shadow Base is wildly popular. I have never used it, but I hear that it works well. The fans of this product say that it has staying power and enhances the color payoff of eye shadow. (Sounds like a winning combination to me!!)

Stila Shadow Pots are also a great base for eye shadow because they are creamy, which is superb for loose eye powder (i.e. MAC pigments, Make Up Forever Star Powder). Apply about 2 layers of this product, let it set for a few seconds then apply the shadows. The color payoff will be awesome and the pigments will adhere to the base.

My new “must have” is the MAC Paint Pots.

The paint pots are similar to the Stila Shadow Pots because of the texture and you can wear as eye shadow or base. The paint pots are delicious because they actually work as both shadow or base. Everyone should have the color Blackground, which is Black with shimmer. Jennifer James, make-up artist extradonaire, applied BlackGround, along with another Paint Pot as base, Carbon eye shadow for a more intense black and sprinkled (unsure of the technical term) Copperized pigment. Oh my, my eye makeup is looking extra, super good.

With the right brush and a few extra seconds, your eye shadow will look beautiful and remain all day.

Stay Fabulous,

Mix Maven

Happy Monday Glossy Ones,

Hope you all had a great weekend!

MONDAY MELODY

I love a song that celebrates women.  Here is the adorable Raheen Devaughn with “You.”  I love the first line of the song and the groove is hot.

ANNIE LEE

My Mother is a huge fan of Annie Lee art.  She loves that there are no faces – “If I want faces, I will put pictures of family up!”  I spent the majority of the weekend with her looking for a frame for “Drip Dry.”

Sites say it is 24×36, but that does not take into account the write trim around the actual pictures.  Whew!  Finally found a frame and it looks great.  Black frame with a black mat – perfection!

Why did I post this picture?  Because I need your help with figuring something out.  We see the lady washing clothes – what exactly is the child doing in the picture?  My guess is that the child is supposed to be potty training, but is playing instead.  I will write Annie Lee and see what she says!

WEDNESDAY MORNING UPDATE:  My Mom called the official Annie Lee website – the person who answered wasn’t sure, so Annie Lee was called to give the answer!  Annie Lee said that the baby is supposed to be potty training, but instead the baby is pulling the sheets off the line/playing; as soon as the mother hangs a sheet, the baby pulls one down.

Here is another cute pic my Mom got by Annie – it is called “Burn Ya Baby?”

That was me many a day when I was a child!

THOUGHTS TO PONDER

“To ignore evil is to become an accomplice to it.”   ~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (source)

“What’s truly audacious is to believe that something different is possible, to hope, to aspire, to change.”   ~ Senator Barack Obama (source)

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll ed up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”   ~ Oprah Winfrey (source)

BEDROOM DECOR

I posted a beautiful blue and brown comforter set last week.  I came across this one on the JCPenny site.  Different pattern, but the same colors are there:

I found this combination on Target.com:

Blue comforter set, brown sheets and accent pillows.  Great look!

SHOE PICKS

I love this gymshoe – it immediately caught my eye in the store Saturday.  The Nike Dart V comes in a couple of colors, but my fave is the Clay/Garnet.

These kicks can be found at JCPenny and Kohl’s – both have them marked down to $39.99.

I love the berry color of these Steven Madden “Blazzin” pumps.

These pumps can be found on Macys.com for $74.25.

A WORD FROM T.D. JAKES

“You CAN Recover From A Fall” – A Word we can all use!  “Let the haters hate” – alright now!

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
~ Matthew 7:12

Have a Wonderful Week!

~ J.R.

The question arose, why do people like having sex in public places?

Of course I had to ask my friends this very question. Some of the answers that surfaced were:

• “People like to do it for a change of pace, for the excitement, and for the joy of taking a RISK, RISK and RISK.”
• “Sex on the beach or under a waterfall is so romantic. Just having sex in the rain can add a little spice to any relationship (if a sista don’t mind getting her hair wet…just schedule an appointment for the next morning).”
• “I think people do for the thrill. The thrill that someone may be watching and the spontaneity of the act. The carnal desire of animal attraction can not be confined to the bedroom”
• “It’s exciting and thrilling. It’s like stealing – you know you are not suppose to do it. But when you don’t get caught, the action of almost getting caught is exhilarating.”
• “It is a turn on to have sex any where but the bedroom. Mix that with having sex outside the house all together – YUM!”
• And lastly, “It keeps the excitement going in the relationship alive.”

Why all the excitement? Wikipedia tells us:

“A study concluded people engage in public sex because the risk of getting caught during the act of sexual intercourse is an arousing situation due to an increase in the adrenaline being produced.”

John Legend shows us that he just doesn’t care with “P.D.A.”

Here are some reasons why people have sex in public: (source)

Space
Often public sex becomes an option when there is simply nowhere else to go. Sexually inexperienced or anxious adolescents may choose the back seat of a car instead of their parents’ house. Similarly, college students may search for private places on their college campuses because their dorms are so crowded that others would be able to hear sexual activities.

Urgency
There are times in sexual relationships when the level of lust rises so high that sex must take place as soon as possible. A wheat field, the woods or a rowboat are all places that, under normal circumstances, are not convenient places to have sex. However, under the influence of strong sexual desire, these places may become perfectly acceptable.

Bragging Rights
Sometimes people are presented with the opportunity to have sex in a place so unique or wild that they will engage in sex simply for the “bragging rights,” or the opportunity to recap the act and take satisfaction in having done something distinctive. Such places include the rim of the Grand Canyon, the top floor of the Empire States Building, or during mid-flight on an airplane.

Legend
Certain places have a reputation as fun places to have sex. The most notable is the beach, which has been romanticized to the point of having an alcoholic drink named after the conquest (“Sex on the Beach”).

Variety
For some couples, doing new things and keeping life novel is very important. The quest for varied experience may lead people to have sex in phone booths, elevators, dark dance clubs, airplanes, trains, and on ski lifts. For some, these acts turn into exhibitionism, as the excitement of having sex in public places heightens the other turn-ons. Some people get aroused if they know other people are listening or watching them have sex.

Being Naughty
Some people are taught as children and teenagers that sex is dirty or naughty, and having sex in a place where they should not may add to the overall excitement of the act. Instances of naughty public sex may include having sex in the boss’ office, a parent’s bed, or the balcony of a movie theatre.

I think Johnny Gill gets the idea with “Love In An Elevator.”

So there you have it! If skydiving is too much of an adrenaline rush for you, have sex in public.

Sensual Element

This Deal is Good Through Saturday, September 8, 2007.

If you purchase the Glade Wisp Flameless Candle (battery operated) or the Glade Scented Oils Trio (both priced at $9.99), you will receive a free $5.00 Target Gift Card.

I am a candle fan, so while I was in a store last week, I saw that they had $4.00 coupons for the Flameless Candle. I got four (yippee!). Went to Target to get school supplies for my Goddaughter yesterday and came across this deal. Coupons in hand, I got four Flameless Candles in the Clean Linen Scent.

$9.99 – $4.00 Coupon = $5.99 + A Free $5.00 Gift Card

I now have $20.00 in Target Gift cards! Needless to say, it was a good day.

Go to the Glade Flameless Candle site to PRINT your $4.00 off coupon!

~ J.R.

Hey Pumps and Gloss Readers,

Happy Tuesday to you! I hope you all enjoyed your extended holiday weekend.

Mr. Maven and I had to a chance to spend a part of the holiday weekend in Chicago for my friend, LH, surprise engagement party. You may remember LH from an earlier post I wrote about “Shopping Serendipity” about one of my friends who asked God to help her find an inexpensive, yet elegant dress and she did.

In early August 2007, J, LH’s sister, invited us to the engagement soiree. We gladly accepted the invitation for this joyous occasion. Both LH’s and her fiance’s families went the extra mile in planning this event. They all had her believing she was going to get the proposal around December 2007.

Fast forward to Saturday night. Elaborate romantic plans were made for the actual engagement. Every action was well-thought out. (Sidebar: I am going to suggest to GS to do a series of seminars on the fundamentals of romance. Let’s just say he raised the bar!) Everyone congregated in the fiance’s (GS) family’s home. The great thing is that she had no idea that family and friends came from far and near to celebrate her engagement. (Backtrack: LH and I were chatting a few weeks back about what she thought the proposal would be like, so I told her to be patient and it will happen soon enough probably by October or November.)

So G suggested to L that they go back to his mom’s house to show off the ring. She called her parents and siblings to let them know what happened. They were all “stunned, yet happy” for the news. As they were approaching the house, we were all instructed to hide. As we heard the first set of “Congratulations” from her family, the rest of us emerged. She was so surprised that she cried. (I was misting up too!!) LH was totally speechless when she realized that her parents had flown in from the Southwest to share this wonderful memory. When she saw the rest of us, she could barely stand because she was too stunned.

The rest of the night was about showing off the ring (which was absolutely LOVELY!) and sharing each version of the engagement story (the best!!!!) My heart was warmed that night to be apart of Love that was in the room:

1. The obvious Eros – romantic love – L and G.
2. The Agape – the love that we have for God for being wonderful and always working on our behalf, even though at times things may be seem hopeless.
3. The Philos love – the love shared among family, friends and community.
4. Storge – the specific love that a family shares with each other.

I was very impressed, not shocked, than Mama and Sister S love LH, so that will be 3/4 of the battle won. We, Mr. Maven and I, look forward to sharing more wonderful memories with LH and GS. May God continue to be in their details and that their love for each other will continue to grow.

We learned that JOE’s “I Wanna Know” is LH’s special ringtone on GS’ phone. (A great song!!)

Continue to Live Triumphantly,

Mix Maven

Happy Labor Day Glossy Ones!

MONDAY MELODY

For all my working people, in honor of Labor Day, here’s Vanessa Williams performing “Work To Do.”  Check out the music video here.

 TEN WAYS TO BE YOUR VERY BEST - by Jeness Ruhanen, from TopTen.org

1. Practice Extreme Self Care.
2. Create 10 Delightful Daily Habits.
3. Get Rid of Stuff You Do Not Need.
4. Get Rid of Commitments You Do Not Want.
5. Be Clear on what You want for Your Life.
6. Get Organized.
7. Take Care of Your Needs
8. Elminate Things You are Putting Up With.
9. Celebrate Your Success.
10. Laugh Often.

See each item in detail here.

DESIGNER SPOTLIGHT – ANIMALISTIC

I received an ad from Newport News showing different outfit combinations in shades of brown.  Called “Touches of Animal,” this collection screams “Fall” to me.

I know that’s pretty small, so go here to get a better view.

I especially love this leopard print skirt.  Not too long, not too short.  Gotta have it!  This skirt comes in Misses Sizes 2-18 and Women’s Sizes 14W – 24W.

BEDROOM DECOR

I received the Midnight Velvet Fall Catalog recently and saw this fabulous comforter set.

I love the brown and blue combination.  I can see blue candles to match on my night stands.  Just as I was about to order this, my Mom surprised me with this duvet set from Target for my birthday last week…

I am a huge fan of butterflies and my Mom’s thoughtfulness certainly touched my heart.  At the same time, I am still longing for the blue and brown.  I would put one in the guest room, but Hubby and I have a tropical theme and neither of the prints coordinate with the room.  I’ll just watch Midnight Velvet to see if they mark it down.  Christmas will be here before we know it – I am going to have to be a good girl for the rest of the year so Santa can bring it to me!

JOY’S BOOT PICK

I get e-mails from Dr. Jay’s on a regular basis.  Urban wear for women, men and children, Dr. Jay’s is the site for clothes, shoes, and accessories.  This Timberland Boot was featured in the most recent e-mail I received and it was love at first sight.

Who knew a Timberland boot could be so hot?!  It also comes in light caramel suede and black leather.

LIP COLOR

Maybelline SuperStay Lip Color in Violet

0.077 Ounces of Lip Color and 0.063 Ounces of Moisturizer Sealer

Purchased for $3.48 on Clearance at Target – Regular Price was $6.99 (Picture is from Walgreens.com. where the price is $9.49)

Sticky? – Lip Color = Yes,  Moisturizer = No

Shimmer? – No

Applicator – Brush for Lip Color; “Chapstick” Application for Moisturizer

Buy Other Colors? – Yes

Buy Second Tube? – Yes

Thoughts – I bought this Lip Color doubting that the color would last.  I am now a believer!  I cannot rave about this product enough!  The lip color is applied with a brush -it goes on silky smooth and within two minutes, it becomes dry and sticky.  Apply the moisturizer and your lips are smooth with a touch of shine.  The color lasts for up to 16 hours.  I drank out of cups and there was no color left on the rim!  You will need to apply the moisturizer every now and again for shine.  Maybelline sells a product that will remove the color.  I used baby oil and it came right off.  Overall, I give this product an A.  This product is available as a lip gloss – I will be purchasing it and letting you all know about it!

ENCOURAGE YOURSELF

I LOVE this song!  “Encourage Yourself” is by Donald Lawrence and The Tri-City Singers. 

“Sometimes you have to encourage yourself.
Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test.
And no matter how you feel,
Speak the Word and you will be healed.
Speak over yourself,
Encourage yourself in the Lord.”

“But Remember Giants, they do fall!”

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  ~ Galatians 6:9

Have a wonderful week!  Be Encouraged!

~ J.R.